Humor

Nannie Was No Ding-a-ling

Miss Mattie, Nannie’s grandmother, plunked sprightly tunes on the piano, crocheted, embroidered, sketched fruit bowls and cherubs, and danced divinely. At sweet 16, she waltzed down the aisle with 56-year-old Grandfather Dorn. Unlike most women, Miss Mattie skipped out on promotion to matronly duties after the wedding night. Forever Grandfather Dorn’s demure Missy, she rarely […]

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Earth Day & Diaper Daze

No new mom leads a pampered life. However, a new day dawned with disposable diapers. They dispatched the cotton-diaper E-yew toilet-dunking moment to limbo, despite a few environmental holdouts. Although Procter & Gamble debuted disposable diapers in 1961—just in time for my sister Peggy’s arrival—my mother spurned this new-fangled notion. In the brave new world […]

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The Kitchen Shower

In response to The Daily Post prompt: “Ingredients”—what’s the magic ingredient in your kitchen you can’t do without? Easy! Love with a pinch of good advice. As a young woman, I resisted ritual. I didn’t care which university won which rivalry. Secular sin! I tramped around Europe instead of stepping out at a debutante ball. […]

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Farmer Leon Goes Squirrely

My dad’s garden mania shot up when his children-sharecroppers (forced labor until their early teen years) scattered. He doubled the crop when the next-door neighbor gave him permission to plow through the lower end of their backyard. These events forced Dad to double his hours in the garden. My mother never commented, but she developed a blank stare […]

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Blooming on a Delayed Timetable

Catching a man couldn’t begin too early in the South. Not that mamas coached their babies in helpless sighs, arch glances, and pretty pouts. Those charms came naturally—at least for a few girls who budded early, their hot-pink and lime-green dresses giving the dusty playground a lush look. Their hair, parted precisely in the middle, rippled long […]

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2015: Five Modest Proposals

The big stat showing up on New Year blog posts? “Only 8% of the population follows through on resolutions.” It’s ubiquitous, like blithe posts of Bland Business Beatitudes. BOR-ing. I’m sticking to basics. I can’t afford to hire the Merry Maids to dash through my house. No resolutions. Only modest proposals on this last day […]

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