Vocabulary Dump: Five Words I Love to Hate

250 pix Paisley_Abbey_gargoyle_06_peI am all for the First Amendment. Say what you want. However, if I hear these five words again, I will clamp my hands over my ears. Permanently.

1) “AWESOME!”

After 15 years of verbal assault, this word is still hanging around. If recaptured by film, the spider in Charlotte’s Web may replace “some pig,” “terrific,” or “humble” with “AWESOME!”CharlotteWeb_pe

Then Wilbur will be required, by courtesy of updated computer tactics, to perform a triple Salchow, triple toe-loop to the thrill of gen z huddled over their mobile devices. If the plucky little pig cannot pull off this feat, Farmer Zuckerman will dispatch him to quick bacon-hood as opposed to glory at the state fair. (Fern did not comment as of presstime.)

Red_carpet by Greg Hernandez (Greg in Hollywood)_pe2) “You look AMAZING!”

How else would we compliment boney, red-carpet divas, Miss America, Mrs. America, Miss Teen USA, Miss USA, Miss Universe, America’s Top Model, and blushing brides for yet another season?

3) “This has been an AMAZING JOURNEY!”

320px-Gravel_Road_by Repat Coober_Pedy_peThat one drops out of the mouth of every person on a reality show who hangs on to the season finale. Particularly obnoxious are shallow players in “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette”—booked by  agents in search of fast money made on fresh bodies. (If you want to comment on shows that sink to a lower depth, feel free.) For the sensible TV viewer, the vacuous “amazing journey” is the highway to cliché hell.

4 & 5) “I must leave it there. But we know this issue will continue as part of the NATIONAL CONVERSATION.”

Certain pundits repeat this lame closing after a two-minute pseudo debate between opposing political entities who have engaged in a shouting match littered with cherry-picked facts and quotes out of context.240px-Lipsticks by Flickr user SpooSpa_pe

I am perplexed as to which pundits to post as evidence. My YouTube examples could go on for 365 days uninterrupted. In fact, if I included the rising tide of spray-tanned, hair-sprayed, leggy, foundation-caked, lipstick-kissed Barbies outfitted in short skirts, southward-down tops, stiletto heels, and earring danglers . . . well . . . my blog might pick up more followers of the male persuasion. . . .

320px-Pointe_shoe_ribbons by Lambtron_peBut I digress. To return to my point—I will string together these five words for only one person on the planet: Amy Purdy from last night’s airing of “Dancing with the Stars.”

You are one AWESOME woman who twirled and twinkle-toed through an AMAZING JOURNEY, creating a NATIONAL CONVERSATION, indeed an authentic sensation.

Girl, you are the real deal.

P.S. I tolerated  jumping-jack, swivel-hips Judge Bruno just to watch your segment. He delivers more spittle than Chris Matthews wound up on poll returns. I’m sure you felt it.

Credits

Paisley Abbey Gargoyle by Colin

Red Carpet by Greg Hernandez (Greg in Hollywood)

Gravel Road by Repat Coober

Lipsticks by Flickr use SpooSpa

Beloved since its release in 1952, Charlotte’s Web is a must-read classic for every home library. As Eudora Welty noted in a New York Times review, “It is just about perfect, and just about magical in the way it is done.” We may forever thank the rich imaginations of author E. B. White and illustrator Garth Williams. Please, please, read it to your babies.

 

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11 thoughts on “Vocabulary Dump: Five Words I Love to Hate

  1. Very true my Storyteller! I’d forward this to Oxford University Press (OUP), for their next edition of the English Dictionary! Your blog reminded me of a commonly used concluding sentence, in many scientific papers, that have failed to answer the basic question they had set out to answer, “The final answer will have to await the outcome of a much larger randomised controlled study”. English is a rich and beautiful language. And you always demonstrate it is indeed in your blogs. I certainly enjoyed reading this.

  2. Pingback: Vocabulary Dump: Five Words I Love to Hate | Dr Mustapha Tahir

  3. Silver in the Barn…YOU’VE given me my morning laugh!!! Except it’s not morning. I love coming and visiting these sites…coming back to visit them and reading them over and over again…cause they warrant a second reading. Thank you Catherine. Kaye

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